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Embossed roses featuring your own personal message!Etiquette: Invitations
By Karen Zack, Owner,
AntoniaRosePrinting.com
Style of Wedding Stationery
Printing
The most formal type of wedding invitations and social stationery is
the traditional engraved style. This is done with hand-made
copperplate engraving. It is the highest quality printing and the
most labor-intensive, so it is more expensive than other methods.
This is the way royal and presidential invitations and stationery are
printed! Engraved stationery has a raised front surface and an
indented back; there is no other way to achieve this effect on both
sides of the paper.
Letterpress printing similar to engraving, except instead of an
engraved copper plate, metal type is pressed into the paper to create
the text. This is an old-fashioned method which is becoming more
popular every year.
The most common type of invitation printing used now is thermography,
which involves heating dye and powder to create an ink which is raised
off the page. The effect is similar to engraving on the front, but
smooth on the back, and it is shinier than engraving. Fine business
cards and stationery are printed with thermography as well. This
process allows the use of different colored inks, as well.
Thermography is NOT the same as the flat printing you get from your
home computer and copier or local copy shop. Newspapers, brochures
and other items are also printed with flat or offset printing.
Envelope flaps on invitations are usually flat-printed as well.
Ink
The price quoted for invitations is generally for black ink, which is
also the most traditional.
A wide range of colors is available for a small extra charge. You may
want to match the color of the ink and envelope lining to your wedding
colors.
Paper and Folding
Custom-printed invitations will be printed on premium card stock in a
range of colors. White and ivory are the most common and the most
formal.
The invitation itself can be a flat card, which is the most
traditional and formal; a half-fold card; or a Z-fold card where the
top edge folds in to the middle. There are even seal-and-send styles
where the card forms the envelope as well; this is the most casual
style. Samples of specific styles and papers are generally available
for a small fee; just ask!
Shower invitations can be as formal as wedding invitations or much
more casual. Many styles are available.
Most brides also get some personalized stationery in a heavy paper or
cardstock to use after the wedding, certainly for thank-you notes.
Cards are more popular than plain paper stationery.
Design
Beyond the printing and paper, the design motif of the invitation sets
the tone for the wedding and gives your guests an idea of your style
and the formality of the event. (A casual invitation to a cathedral
wedding would certainly confuse your guests!)
There is an almost overwhelming range of options, from white-on-white
embossed designs to full-color photographs. You can probably find
your favorite motif, whether flowers, birds, bells, a couple, Disney
characters (even Cinderella!), Precious Moments, African-American
Heritage, Hispanic themes and wording, modern designs and retro humor.
Are you having a theme wedding? There are many western,
beach/tropical, fairytale/princess and other theme stationery sets
from which to choose. Try searching the invitations by keywords, or
ask for help in finding them!
One of the latest trends is invitations with a ribbon holding together
several layers; we have many in that style as well. Matching the
ribbon to your wedding colors is a nice touch. Other of the
"handmade" style invitations have vellum wraps.
Some companies, offer wedding invitations custom printed with your
photo or photographs on them, for a truly personal look.
You have the opportunity to match your invitation design and colors
to your wedding colors, plans and personal style. If you have an idea
about the kind of wedding you want but find the selection
overwhelming, we would be happy to narrow down the options, finding
five or ten that suit your style and preferences. Just ask!
Wording of Invitations/Announcements
Historically, wedding invitations and announcements came from the
parents of the bride, as they were paying for and hosting the wedding
and reception. Many people still choose to follow this tradition, but
almost every variation is seen today.
INVITATIONS invite people to the wedding and/or reception.
ANNOUNCEMENTS are sent when there is no party (such as an elopement)
or to people unable to attend the wedding.
There are many, many suggested wordings for all occasions, including
the complex family situations involving divorce and/or remarriage,
available at www.VerseIt.com . Just keep the formality of the wording
consistent with the formality of your event.
Reception Information
If the reception is at the same location as the wedding, the
invitation text generally ends with a one-line note of that, such as
"Reception following service." This can be at the end of the centered
text or in the lower left corner of the invitation.
Otherwise your reception information can be printed on the lower left
corner of the invitation or put on a separate card. Putting it on the
invitation itself saves money, but it results in less space for your
information and a more cluttered appearance to the invitation,
particularly if a lot of information must be conveyed.
If you are inviting some people to the ceremony but not the reception,
you will want to be sure to the put the reception information on a
separate card.
If only a few people are invited to the ceremony and more are invited
to the reception, you can make the large invitation the reception one
and put the ceremony information on a smaller card.
Map cards and other information for out-of-town guests, like hotel
information, can be included in the envelope as well.
Response Card
It is extremely important to have a good idea of how many people are
coming! The standard way to determine this is to send out a separate
response card, with a pre-addressed, stamped envelope, so the guest
just fills in the number attending and their name, and then drops it
in the mail.
The response or RSVP card usually gives a deadline for return of two
to three weeks before the wedding; most caterers want a final guest
count about two weeks before the event.
Most couples use this response card option, either in the form of a
card inside an envelope or sometimes as a postcard, which is cheaper
to mail. Another choice is to enclose a pre-paid phone card with your
wedding information on it, asking guests to call in their response.
However you ask your guests to "Respond, Please", be aware that a low
return rate for responses seems to be the norm. DO NOT assume people
who did not return a response card are not coming or you may wind up
short of food! Allow some extra time for late responses and be
prepared to mobilize the family/friends grapevine to determine the
attendance plans of non-responders.
Addressing Envelopes
Handwriting
Invitations are traditionally addressed by hand in a calligraphy
style. Any neat handwriting will do.
A return address can be handwritten or preprinted on the flap of the
outside envelope. The return address should match the wording: if the
invitations are from the parents, their address should be used.
While return address labels might be acceptable, it is still
considered tacky in almost all circles to use labels for the guest
addresses. If the job of hand-addressing seems overwhelming to you,
you can order preprinted return addresses on your envelopes and pay a
calligrapher to do the rest. Or you could gather some friends and
have an envelope-addressing party! A final option considered
acceptable by some (but not all, so be warned!) is to use a nice
handwriting script font and address the envelopes with your computer
printer; this must be done on the envelopes, not on labels.
You can order envelopes early to give yourself extra time to address
them It is a good idea in any case to order your invitations at least
3-4 months before the wedding, so you have plenty of time to get then
addressed or even order more if you need to do so.
Finally, if you end up short an envelope or two and need an emergency
replacement, contact your printer! Some have a selection of the most
common envelopes on hand and can get one out to you immediately if
necessary.
Outer Envelope Wording
Abbreviations other than Mr., Mrs. and Ms. are avoided, including the
words Doctor, street, avenue, one hundred twenty-first, and so on.
The actual numbers of the street address are used:Mr. Johannson
56 North Maple Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota 55101
The outer envelopes for wedding invitations are always addressed to
both the husband and wife of a married couple living together, without
their first names:
Mr. and Mrs. (or Ms.) Jones
Unmarried couples living together should be listed alphabetically on
separate lines:
Ms. Ann Johnson
Mr. Peter Smith
If you intend to invite an unmarried person and an escort, it is best
to send a separate invitation to the escort, if their name is known.
You must invite both spouses, fiances and members of couples who are
living together or in a long-term relationship.
Any children invited who are living at home and over the age of 16-18
should also be listed on the outer envelope or better yet sent their
own invitation.
Inner Envelope Wording
The inner envelope generally lists the first names of the people
invited and the names of any other family members invited. Children,
if invited, are generally listed with their first names written out,
in order of age from oldest to youngest:
Mr. and Mrs. Wilson
Thomas, John and Stephen
It is not as formal but still considered acceptable by most people to
use "and family."
Doctor and Mrs. Rogers and family
However, be aware that some guests may loosely interpret this and you
may have a stray aunt or cousin coming along as well!
If a single person is invited to bring an escort and you do not have
that person's name, as a last resort most people use "and guest" after
the single person's name.
If the children's names or "and family" does not appear on the inner
envelope, children are NOT invited. However, some guests may not
understand this; consider whether you should spread the news of your
adult-only event through the grapevine as well. (It is tacky to put
"Adults only" on your invitation.)
Be aware that it is not socially acceptable and almost guarantees hurt
feelings if some guests' children are invited and others are not. The
only exception is children of the wedding party and those kids
actually in the wedding.
Invitation Assembly
1) Address response envelopes (or have calligrapher do it) - include
return address if not imprinted on envelope.
2) Address outer envelopes (or have calligrapher do it). DO NOT do
this after stuffing the envelopes; the writing can end up bumpy and
the pressure may cause ink to transfer to unwanted areas.
3) Put together one invitation set and take it to the post office or
weigh it on a scale to determine proper postage. Don't forget to buy
stamps for the response cards as well. There are usually some lovely
stamps from which to choose. You can also order stamps online from
the U.S. Postal Service.
4) Put stamps on the response envelopes and the outer envelopes.
5) Fold invitations and response cards, if needed.
6) Sort into sets, either all at once or individually as you stuff the
envelopes. Here is the proper way to assemble them:
Folded Invitations: The response card is laid face up on the
envelope, with the envelope flap hanging over the front of it. This
goes on top of the reception card. A map/directions card goes on top
of that, with church directions on top of reception directions, if
appropriate. Open the invitation and put the tissue over the text.
Then the pile of insertions is placed over the tissue. This assembly
is put fold-side first, with the front of the invitation facing the
back (addressed) part of the inner envelope. The inner envelope,
unsealed, is then put with the flap to the back (addressed) part of
the outer envelope. If you do one and keep it handy as a reference,
the process gets easier as you go.
Card Invitations: A liner is put over the text of the actual
invitation. Then enclosures are stacked on top of the card
invitation, face up, as noted above. The stack is placed with the
left edge going into the envelope first, facing backwards so the text
is away from the flap. The inner envelope is then put inside the
outer one, with the flap to the back (addressed) part of the outer
envelope.
If this is just too confusing, you have three options: Put them
together however you like; go to www.VerseIt.com and look at their
illustrated instructions, or contact your printer and they may walk
you through it.
Seals
You can add a personalized or non personalized seal to the flap of the
envelope as well, for a special touch. There are many available seals
to match or coordinate with a variety of invitations.
Ordering/Mailing/Save The Date
When to Order
All of our wedding invitations ship within 48 hours. Even the slowest
printers should have your invitations to you within a month. However,
addressing and assembling the invitations can take a lot of time, and
there is no reason to wait until you have a million other things to
do.
We suggest ordering your invitations and other social stationery you
might need at least 2-4 months before the wedding. You can certainly
order it earlier, as soon as you have the details nailed down.
When to Mail
Invitations are mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding date.
The response card usually gives guests two weeks to respond.
Mailing any earlier than that is not considered classy, and in fact
can result in a lower response rate as guests lose the invitations
before they respond, thinking they have plenty of time. If you are
concerned about your guests having enough notice of the wedding,
consider using "Save the Date" cards.
Save the Date Cards
If you want to let people know about your wedding before the
invitations can be sent, consider sending out a "Save the Date" card.
This is a card, magnet or preprinted phone card which lets people know
the date of the big event. An invitation is then sent at the usual
time.
This is also a fun way to spread the news about your engagement, if
you don't formally announce it other ways.
A "Save the Date" need not be sent to everyone who is invited to the
wedding, but make sure everyone who gets one is later invited.
They are generally sent to close friends and family when you want to
ensure they will be able to make it on the big day. When your wedding
date is a long ways off but the date is fixed, and/or if it is at a
particularly busy time of year or holiday, and/or if many of your
guests will be traveling from out of town, sending some type of Save
the Date notice is courteous and helps ensure your guests will be able
to celebrate with you when the big day comes.
Karen Zack
Owner/Manager
www.AntoniaRosePrinting.com
Full-service printing at discount prices
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