Wedding Ceremony Tips
by Karen Zack, author of the "I Do" in MN wedding guide and owner of
Antonia Rose Printing
In the excitement of wedding planning, finding a dress, finding locations,
and so on, sometimes the details of the ceremony itself can get lost in
the shuffle or forgotten until the last minute, when decisions must be
made on the spot by the officiant, groom, parents or others. Here are some
things to consider beforehand, to ensure your ceremony reflects what you
really want and goes off without a hitch.
These tips are based on conversations with priests, rabbis, ministers and
many brides.
No matter what type of ceremony you are having, don't forget to put some
thought and planning into the details of it--it is the central event of
the day!
Wedding Processional Order
1) Decide ahead of time the order in which the wedding party will proceed
down the aisle, as well as who will be escorted, and by whom.
You don't want your parents to be lost in the shuffle and seated with
regular guests, not given front row seats, or left to find their seats on
their own. Traditionally, regular guests are seated by ushers, then other
special guests (perhaps godparents), then grandmothers, then the groom's
mother, then the bride's mother. After that the wedding party walks down
the aisle.
2) The order and escort choices for the processional are many, and depend
in part on the religious nature of the ceremony. Determine what you will
do beforehand and make sure everyone involved knows about it. For example,
while tradition has the father of the bride escorting her down the aisle,
it is perfectly acceptable to have both parents escort the bride, or for
the bride to walk down the aisle unaccompanied. If the bride and/or groom
have children, their children sometimes escort them down the aisle.
3) For civil ceremonies, you can do whatever you like. Most couples choose
the format of one of the religious ceremonies, but you can vary it however
you like. The only mistake is not making this decision beforehand.
4) Protestant Wedding Ceremonies:
The groomsmen and groom wait at the altar, having entered from the rear of
the church. The bridesmaids walk down the aisle one at a time, with the
maid of honor last. Then the ring bearer and flower girl enter (if any).
The bride then enters with her father or other close male relative.
If the ceremony is taking place outside a church or for some reason the
groomsmen can't enter from the rear, one option is for the groom to escort
his mother to her seat and then take his place at the alter. The groomsmen
then escort the bridesmaids, one couple at a time, down the aisle.
5) Catholic Wedding Ceremonies:
The priest, groom and best main wait at the altar. Groomsmen then enter
from the side. The bridesmaids then come down the aisle, starting with the
maid who will stand farthest from the bride. The ring bearer and flower
girl (if any) enter, and may be seated with their parents after they reach
the altar. The bride enters, accompanied by her father or other close
relative.
6) Jewish Wedding Ceremonies:
The rabbi (and cantor, if one) lead the procession. Then the groomsmen
walk down the aisle one at a time. They are followed by the groom, who is
accompanied by both of his parents. The bridesmaids follow, one at a time.
Finally the bride enters, accompanied by both of her parents.
Recessional Order
For the recessional, the wedding party always exits in the reverse order
from which they entered, with the bridesmaids and groomsmen walking in
pairs. In Christian weddings, the bride and groom lead the way, followed
by the flower girl and ring bearer, honor attendants and bridesmaids and
groomsmen. In Jewish weddings, the bride and groom are followed by the
bride's parents, the groom's parents, the honor attendants, the
bridesmaids and groomsmen, and then the rabbi and cantor.
Critical Wedding Ceremony Details
1) Put your payments for the ceremony, as well as the reception and any
other payments for that day, in envelopes and entrust those to someone
responsible to give out that day. The bride and groom will be busy and
involved in the events of their wedding--don't count on remembering these
details!
2) Check with your officiant at the rehearsal or before, to ensure you
know what must be brought to the ceremony. Entrust those items to someone
responsible, perhaps the best man or maid of honor. These items will
include the rings, the marriage license, your unity candle (if used),
programs and any other important items for the ceremony.
3) Timing: Make sure your ceremony starts on time, or as close to it as
possible. While you may want to wait for latecomers, a delay will throw
off everything else and be disrespectful to those people ready on time.
Some guests will always arrive late, or even skip the ceremony and arrive
for the reception. Do not base your timing on them. If you do so, there
will be less time for photos and socializing later.
4) Vows, Poems, Readings: Your selection of these should be made
carefully, and you should be confident that everyone with something to say
or read will be prepared ahead of time. Even if they have memorized what
they will say, ensure THEY BRING A WRITTEN COPY! In the excitement of the
moment, it is all too easy to forget your lines.
In addition, keep the length of the service in mind as you select
readings, vows, songs and poems. You could probably fill hours with
descriptions of your love for each other, but keep the big picture in
mind. Your choosing to marry is the biggest statement of your love for
each other. Each item you add to the ceremony, whether a poem, song, unity
candle, and so on, lengthens the ceremony. Particularly if you are having
a Catholic ceremony with a mass, be aware of the overall length and
considerate of your guests and yourselves. A two-hour wedding ceremony is
probably not one that you will all remember fondly...
5) Remember that the ceremony IS your wedding, and the reception is the
celebration of your marriage. Don't let the ceremony preparation get lost
in the shuffle!
Karen Zack is the author of the "I Do" in MN wedding planner and owner and
manager of Antonia Rose
Printing , which has the best selection of wedding Post-its on the
web, along with invitations and more.
Karen Zack
Owner/Manager
Antonia Rose Printing
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