Jokes, humour, laughs, and good times to share with family

Jokes and laughs sent by my brother, Juan Cárdenas, M.D. cuñao, Eduardo López, Linda Subias, y otros más ... In memory of Lolita y Juancito Laughter is the best medicine for the soul
Blonde jokes	Mexican jokes	Jewish jokes
A JEWISH GENIE An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle. It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie . BUT this was no ordinary genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzies. "Vell kid," said the genie, "you know how it voiks. You got three vishes." "I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!" "Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a gonner anyvay!" The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie was right. "Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink." ** * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * * The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. "Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?" "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams." ** * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * * The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems. "Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better you should make it a good vone!" After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!" ** * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * He was turned into a tampon. THE MORAL OF THE STORY: If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's surely going to be a string attached. A NICE JEWISH JOKE Subject: God Will Provide.......... A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancé to his study for schnapps. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. "A Torah scholar." The father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us" "And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancé. The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the fiancé insists that God will provide. Later, the mother asks "so nu? How did it go?" The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I'm God."
Small, Medium or Large Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the procedure, since it was considered cosmetic surgery. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for "small," $6500 for "medium," and $14,000 for "large." Rabbi Bernstein was sure that his wife and he would want at the least, a medium ..and perhaps even a large. But the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The rabbi called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the rabbi slouched over in the chair looking quite dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. Rabbi Bernstein answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
The 7 steps to achieving your dream... by Chris Widener 1. Dream it! 2. Believe it! 3. See it! 4. Tell it! 5. Plan it! 6. Work it! and 7. Enjoy it! CARPE DIEM... HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. JUAN
Week at the Gym: One Man's Story This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into shape -- finally. Dear Diary, For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 30 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me. WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other sh$t too. THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room.. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank. FRIDAY: I hate that b$tch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the &%#(#&!!@@ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice , wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the b$tch), will choose a gift for me that is fun like a root canal or a vasectomy.
A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!" The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide. They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"! The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide. They wander further into the next room. She says,"In the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"! This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does that mean?" The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four blondes laying sod across the street.
From: "Nancy and Richard" Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, threw up in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you pushed her away & yelled, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!" A self-induced hangover - $100.00 Broken furniture - $200.00 Breakfast - $10.00 Saying the right thing - priceless
This one sent by Eduardo Lopez -mi cuñao favorito" Subject: The Rambo Granny of Melbourne, Australia Protecting your own has a new meaning..... The Rambo Granny of Melbourne, Australia Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - - and shot off their testicles. The old lady spent a week hunting those men down -- and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: 'Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.' Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up. The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told reporters. Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through. The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. "When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the Law would go easy on them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either-- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' all my life. And I wasn't dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one." So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos', tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel. I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them, the oldster recalled. So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in. Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison, Det. Delp said, especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood and a medal. DEPORT HER TO AMERICA -- WE NEED HER!!!
Hunting Season It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and o his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her: "What are you up to?" Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!" Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along. Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside of San Marcos, Texas. Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot". Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant -- much less a deer. Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming: "Get the hell away from my deer!" Confused and frightened Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get the hell away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire! Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, "Okay, lady! You can have your damn deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"
Subject: A good laugh! Juan, I thought you might like these. I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. Sandy The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!!! ******************************** Ancient Egypt was old.. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was A actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth. Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock Which is apparently poisonous.. After his death, his career suffered a Dramatic decline. In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus." Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen," As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented Cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all of his men. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote ParadiseLost. Since then no one ever found it. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.. Abraham Lincoln freed slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why. Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it. Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken. Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was staring. The teenager finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.
There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes. The bear went first and he said, "I wish to be the only male bear in this forest." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish. The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish. It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."
Joke and humour of the day: HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS? Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Coca-Cola was originally green. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It is impossible to lick your elbow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The youngest pope was 11 years old. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month...which we know today as the honeymoon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Most searched for jokes and humor joke christmas joke blonde joke funny joke dirty joke joke of the day practical joke nigger joke yo mama joke clean joke michael jackson joke adult joke redneck joke joke saddam racist joke black joke yo momma joke bar joke sex joke mama joke santa joke kid joke mexican joke lawyer joke joke knock knock free joke humor joke jackson joke micheal dumb blonde joke x rated joke dirty christmas joke one liner joke holiday joke funny picture joke your momma joke fat joke new years joke christian joke fart joke weird joke dead baby joke sick joke email joke joke dirty funny racial joke cartoon joke dirty blonde joke funny christmas joke funny joke racist animated joke retirement joke short joke joke of the week little johnny joke random joke nasty joke golf joke funny joke nigger joke jewish black people joke hussein joke saddam monica joke chicken and joke adult christmas joke birthday joke gay joke jew joke woman joke asian joke sms joke cow joke mad joke racist white hilarious joke mamma joke stupid joke joke and riddle christmas joke kid english joke th birthday joke italian joke best joke indian joke man joke good joke video joke joke new year funny ass joke sexy joke funny joke mexican racist killing joke computer joke funny short joke funny joke pic joke white daily joke really funny joke child joke osama bin laden joke rude joke naughty joke
humor adult humor college humor christmas humor humor joke twisted humor political humor police humor sick humor fun and humor adult christmas humor sex humor humor video humor saddam holiday humor sexy humor humor grafico office humor christian humor naughty and humor funny humor redneck humor adult animated cartoon free humor humor site dirty humor retirement humor flash humor humor lord ring humor pic humor quote clean humor military humor rude humor humor santa humor t shirt animated avatar humor humor cartoon toilet humor computer humor medical humor photo humor cat humor card christmas humor tasteless humor humor photo priceless ecard humor e card humor new years humor humor card adult animated christmas humor ecard adult humor priceless humor cow humor mad humor pps black humor humor insurance humor poem cop humor humor greeting card humor work cse.unsw.edu.au flattery.html geoffo humor michael jackson humor adult humor priceless birthday humor adult humor e card christmas joke an humor free adult humor aviation humor safety humor free adult humor ecard christmas humor picture funny humor picture adult funny humor joke dbz humor amp land humor jewish humor good humor adult animated ecard free humor adult birthday card free humor printable religious humor humor column bush and humor humor birthday card chevy humor joke dragonball humor z joke adult humor workplace humor office humor cartoon morbid humor c edec humor card christmas humor joke sick twisted humor bathroom humor image humor humor negro animated humor church humor humor power point humor lotr humor hussein saddam